4 Main Reasons I Blog

It was almost 3 years now since I started blogging. Although, I may have a different perspective recently on why I blog, so far it has never changed the way I feel about it. I still get nervous the moment I hit that submit button. It’s like saying, “Here it is. The whole world will now know my deepest secret.” I still feel vulnerable. But why do I still BLOG?

1.       Vulnerability is a gift- It’s not easy to spend my precious time searching for topics or choosing the right words to incorporate in my writing, let alone trust anybody to read about my life. Every word is secreted with emotions and every post is coated with whatever strength I could muster. But since I believe that whoever can read my posts are all human and it is our nature to relate to sadness, happiness, failure, triumphs and everything in between. No one’s life is perfect and if others claim theirs is different, they are in denial. The flat line in an electrocardiograph monitor indicates one’s heart is not beating, meaning dead. Only when we are dead that our life ceases to go up and down. There are times when it might seem like I’m bragging. Please indulge me of this celebration of triumphs after conquering a setback. My greatest hope is to inspire you at least. So my blogs are my gift to you because it is a part of me. I’m only asking you to please be gentle with your comments because like you, I’m also human.

2.       To recognize the people who have me standing despite the storm- From the book Outlier by Malcolm Gladwell:

“The people who stand before kings may look like they did it all by themselves. But in fact they are invariably the beneficiaries of hidden advantages and extraordinary opportunities and cultural legacies that allow them to learn and work hard and make sense of the world in ways others cannot. It makes a difference where and when we grew up. The culture we belong to and the legacies passed down by our forebears shape the patterns of our achievements in ways we cannot begin to imagine. It's not enough to ask what successful people are like, in other words. It is only by asking where they are from that we can unravel the logic behind who succeeds and who doesn't.”
― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success

My family and I wouldn’t be here without the people in Pueblo, CO who have restored my faith in the Filipinos and the humanity. They are the kindest being we have met and I have yet to write about them.

My friends who have not only witnessed us grow in marriage but also helped us in the growth process, I blogged about them here… http://treasuresinthemundane.blogspot.com/2014/10/ignite-spark-friends-inspiring-friends.html

And to the new circle of friends who inspired me to write again, they are surely on my list to write about.

To my dad and mom who taught me and my siblings the value of work ethics… http://treasuresinthemundane.blogspot.com/2014/11/i-teach-my-kids-to-work-because.html

To my beloved husband, adorable daughter and amazing son, all these are about you. How we thrive regardless of how little we have because we have a God who provides it all.

To God who is the source of my strength, love and life. This is an offering and a promise to Him to spread positivity and to not pass a day by without leaving sunshine.

3.       To help me grow- I once heard a famous speaker said, “You are either growing or dying. There’s nothing in between.” Since I prefer the former, I am blogging to get a wider audience’ points of view, suggestions, verification, encouragements, etc about life. When I read a book, I always want to share what I learned to somebody else but most of the time, the people around me physically are busy. Then it is convenient to write about what I read and hope for the chance to tap another person’s view to broaden my own. So please don’t hesitate to share your opinion.

4.       Writing is my balm- It is healing to write especially when it is about my son’s Autism. (You can read about it here http://treasuresinthemundane.blogspot.com/2014/11/this-is-luke-and-his-amazing-autism.html and here  http://treasuresinthemundane.blogspot.com/2014/10/ripples-of-autism-awareness_30.html)     I don’t necessarily publish what I composed right away especially when I am still consumed with raw emotions but by the time I am able to re-read my writing without crying is when I know I am ready to share. I’ve always used writing to express my bottled emotions because it has allowed me to think and reflect and get better at bridling every sentimental gust.  

Now there you have all the 4 reasons why I do what I do.

The world is full of better writers than I am. But I’m not comparing myself to the world. I am however comparing myself today from the self I was yesterday. I will always keep trying to be a better version of me.

Ehma

Cutting Corners, No More

Greatness takes time… learning to wait and to make most of the moment while waiting

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. –Ecclesiastes 3:1

It took me and my husband more than ten years to get a green card. While my husband’s status as my dependent did not allow him to work yet, we lived from scrap out of my income, our only income and saved a fragment in order to at least build a cushion in case the need for emergency arouse. There were many days when we thought of moving to Canada as the process of our immigration papers seem to sluggishly progress. But after a thorough risk analysis, we found out that expediting our plans to moving to a different country would have taken us back to square one. Due to the travails we have already fought and won, we decided to stay. There were nights of endless discussions about how to maximize his abundant free time which then led him to study for a couple of professionals' exams, devour several books on personality development and made strategic financial analysis for growth on what funds we had. Now I’m happy to share, two professional examination successes and two wonderful kids later, he has been serving his purpose while enjoying his work. Had it not been for those years of trying and waiting.

Looking back, we find it so blessed to have the strength to resist the temptation of grabbing the shortest distance to success. We eventually realized it is unnecessary, unwise and unsafe to cut corners.

Allow me to share another story which has contributed to my strong disagreement to cutting corners. While I was waiting in the car to pick up my kids, several cars have already been ahead of me. After a couple of minutes, the line moved so I hit the gas to go forward. I was ready to take the position of the car ahead of me but then this lady intercepted my way and got the place instead. It made me mad and disappointed not only for being robbed of the right to the place but also because of being in the brink of hitting a vehicle. Maybe due to hurry or whatever reason, cutting corner is downright dangerous.

Reflections on learning to wait and to make most of the moment while waiting:

1.       It is unnecessary to be in a hurry. Our family loves to travel long distance by land. There is such magic in driving that draws us closer. First, it allows us to appreciate each other for the flow of creativity we bring to entertain the family as we spend time on a limited posture for hours. Second, it quenches our thirst for knowledge and satisfies our curiosity as we have the capacity to make stops on landmarks that entice us and places that captivate our hearts. Lastly, the time spent is always a time well-spent as our minds and hearts are constantly fed with delight with the things that are accessible. Traveling by air, albeit brings us faster to our destination does not give us that same level of satisfaction.

2.       It is unwise to go for the shortcut. Jeff Olson said it best in his book, The Slight Edge:

You plant, then you cultivate, and finally you harvest. Plant, cultivate, harvest. In today's world, everyone wants to go directly from plant to harvest.

3.       It is dangerous to cut corners. Going back to Jeff Olson’s, “Plant, Cultivate, Harvest” again, is it not impossible to harvest what has not sprouted? Is it not dangerous for our children to rush childhood and become the adult without cultivating their minds the value of integrity, responsibility and self-control and instilling in their hearts an utmost reverence to God? As parents, we are builders of the next generation. We have the responsibility to let our kids be kids and us parents be parents that while we have time to extract given moments to be teachable moments, let us then do so.

4.       Live in the present. Never waste the time worrying or daydreaming on the moments that has yet to come. Do things that can be done while waiting. You don’t have to wait for your emergency fund to be fully funded before you can give. Give back now. A simple smile to a hopeless spirit can be an immeasurable blessing. A listening ear to the heartbroken can be the only saving grace. A dollar to the shelter or the church can be expounded to a more meaningful work that which if every person can give at least a dollar a day will be able to feed hungry souls and comfort ailing hearts tremendously.

In between our greencard processing, Immigration and Naturalization (INS) issued a working permit which enabled my husband to work. And because he did not dilly dally while waiting for this permit for five years; he studied and took professional exams beforehand, he immediately got in the workforce. Some people thought he’s lucky, others think he’s just plain smart, but for me, I think he simply prepared well.

After being issued the working permit, our family enjoyed a life of abundance for having two paychecks. We were able to build our emergency fund, increased contributions to our retirement accounts, bought a second home and have the first home rented out, started investments for the kids’ college education, set aside money for vacations. However, behind the bounty lied that constant tugging in my heart to stay home with the kids. Apart from being financially stable, our marriage was unnoticeably destitute for nourishment. So my husband and I looked at our cash flow, budget and overall financial health to see if we can live by his income alone. After we received our greencard, I was immediately able to confidently resign from my job to stay home with the kids and be a plain housewife because we did not waste our time, money and efforts while waiting.

Live in the present because it is the only palpable moment. Tomorrow many never come.

Lot of Love,

Ehma

Leeway and Drawbacks of Long Drive Vacations

Our family loves to travel.

We love to go places we have not been.

But traveling could be expensive. So we have found a way to be able to afford our favorite activity while sticking to our goals and budget.

We drive. 

We drove our way to Vancouver

And a lot of different places like:

Whistler Canada

Lake Havasu, Arizona

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Las Vegas, Nevada

Los Angeles, California

San Francisco, California

Park City, Utah

Branson, Missouri

Saint Louis, Missouri

and all the places in between.

After several of these experiences, we have observed some leeway and drawbacks of long drive vacations:

Leeway:

1. It is cheap, especially for a family of four. We have Nissan Frontier truck and spent only approximately $250 for gas from Denver all the way to Canada with no additional charge of paying for extra luggage and renting a car upon reaching our destination. Aside from that, we were able to save food by packing our own. In order to avoid paying costly hotels on layovers, we make use of certain hotels rewards program, freebies from Swagbucks or Ebates, our own timeshare (which we paid off only the remainder of the amount as it was foreclosed and without paying interest rates) and bookings on cheaptickets or other travel bargain websites.

2. It is more fun and educational. By driving, you'll be able to explore the distinctiveness of one place to the other, the erratic change of temperature from rapidly moving to different longitudinal areas and of the many landscape our earth is rich of. My daughter has been in-charged of a travel log which is a journal of important events of the trip, essential information of a place and its people, and some photographs to go with it. 

3. We have more freedom of our time. While some kids would want to discover a city, we can do so because we are the captain of our ship. On one of our trips, we passed by Oregon, a gorgeous and green state. We then stopped on one of the scenic picnic areas and celebrated the breathtaking gift of God.

4. We control our layovers. Since layover is defined as a period of rest of waiting before a further stage in a journey, our family redefines it as an exciting part of our journey that enables us to rejuvenate and to sustain the fun (not to cease it by waiting in vain). If we have to sleep in one place, we always choose a hotel with pool and hot tub, free breakfast and nice sheets. By the next day, we all have a relaxing dip in the pool and tub, a good night's rest, and happy tummies. Then everyone is ready for the next day's adventure.

5. Food cravings are satisfied. My son only eats meals with rice (it's an Asian thing :)) so I always cook at least 3 entrees and freeze some of them before our trip. By the time we reach our layover or destination, everyone craves for a hot adobo or baked salmon with rice. What a blessing to have those foods ready to feast on. However, during planning for the trip, we always make sure to book a hotel with microwave and refrigerator.

6. Travel bug, begone!

Drawbacks:

1. More demanding on time.

2. More demanding of our energy.

3. Flying is the only option for traveling overseas.

Musts:

1. Prepare.

2. Budget.

3. Bring Rice Cooker.

4. Assign responsibilities.

5. Have Fun

Must Not:

1. Drive when tired.

2. Compare your lifestyle with other families- Some families post luxurious family vacations on social media whether it was paid by cash or credit card, it's none of our business. What is essential is we know our own financial status when it comes to vacations and we don't end up paying all the mounted credit card bills racking up during the trip. 

3. Think that the effort is yours alone- That's why assigning tasks is important and not to be taken lightly because as a mom, I don't want to travel mad. I want my crew to know that they can contribute to this wonderful event as a family. And of course, it would give each and every family member a sense of responsibility and therefore a sense of pride to be accomplishing something phenomenal.

4. Forget your camera!

I hope this post provides at least an inspiration that family vacations do not have to be expensive. I believe most families keep postponing overdue trips due to that reason. There is never a best time to travel but now.

Enjoy you life and your family. The world is full of adventures!

Love,

Ehma

The Tale of Three Hormones

I have spent my whole life seeking for happiness so the verb itself is home to me on several levels. It doesn’t mean I’ve always known how to find it but now that it has quietly made a room inside me, I can’t imagine not sharing it. After all, part of being happy is having someone to share it with.

Long before I had access to free books and educational resources, when I was growing up, I was taught that giving by any means will put a smile on another person’s face which will then be radiated on my face. And so it’s true but the hurdle of getting abused due to giving too much originated from enabling, an act I wasn’t familiar then was downright threatening. So I dismissed the thought that giving is the only option to finding happiness.

Then there’s that “the world is in your head” mantra. If you think happy thoughts, then everything about being happy will show in what you say or do. But this thing in itself too defies the logic of “where then do we draw happy thoughts when the world around us is just plain grim.” You can’t give what you don’t have.

One night as I was lucky enough to work a slow night shift in the Blood Bank, I was compelled to research about finding happiness. Then I found out that happiness is more than just n struggle to act or feel. It goes in depth towards the chemical workup in our system. Of course, we still do the work but it’s as simple as knowing how and when it’s secreted in order for us to act or feel truly happy. There are more than three hormones for joy but only three has caught my attention to easily be incorporated in my day to day:

1. Dopamine- According to https://www.universalclass.com/articles/health/understanding-the-role-of-hormones-and-neurotransmitters-in-mental-and-emotional-health.htm

As you can probably tell from the name, it can have a great effect on the way we feel. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter which is responsible for the feeling of pleasure we receive when accomplishing something or being rewarded. When dopamine is released we feel an almost euphoric high and it is very pleasant to the body and emotions. The feelings that accompany dopamine release reinforces good outcomes and positive behavior, contrary to the stress and increased heartbeat one may feel when doing something bad or being punished.

In a nutshell, this hormone is feel-good hormone after accomplishing something.

2. Endorphins- https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression#1 says that

Improved self-esteem is a key psychological benefit of regular physical activity. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain.

This explains why my husband wanted me to go to the gym before we decide on important matters. I must have been happier and has been contributing greatly to decision making.

3. Oxytocin- I don’t know about you but for me, this 3^rd and last hormone is easier to get to once both the two above are accomplished. They said a cuddle a day keeps the doctor away. But trust me; it’s hard to cuddle away when you feel unaccomplished or listless.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/oxytocin explains what Oxytocin is.

It is a powerful hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It regulates social interaction and sexual reproduction, playing a role in behaviors from maternal-infant bonding and milk release to empathy, generosity, and orgasm. When we hug or kiss a loved one, oxytocin levels increase; hence, oxytocin is often called "the love hormone." In fact, the hormone plays a huge role in all pair bonding. The hormone is greatly stimulated during sex, birth, and breastfeeding. Oxytocin is the hormone that underlies trust. It is also an antidote to depressive feelings.

When my colleague shouted for joy, we immediately know it was because he had finished an arduous but exciting task. Although our work is geared towards specialty testing, the culture of a bigger hospital only allows us a scant amount of time to deal with esoteric unless if there are many of us to handle traumas and patients of priority. So you can imagine how fulfilling it is to finish a complicated task. It was an obvious burst of dopamine.

Getting that kind of dopamine burst doesn’t have to be complicated. It could be as simple as planning your day. Or as minute as washing the dishes before going to bed so the sink will be clean the next day.

Proverbs 21:5 The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

Everytime my day is planned and my priorities are organized, I will always have time to go to the gym or run outside or inside when it’s snowing. Then it is a better day because of the release of my endorphins. After a warm shower, I’m all smiles ready to greet my loves for a hug, a kiss or a great conversation.

My dear friend who has been thriving gracefully while fighting breast cancer has enjoyed the company and activity of having to do a monthly Spa as three of us rotate our homes for venues which is rather a spiritual moment for us as we accomplish something by preparing our homes or what to bring, then we serve each other by applying mask or brewing tea. This unprecedented monthly gathering has bonded us to grow in friendship, faith and love of life. It is something we have chosen to do and look forward to. It’s a free burst of oxytocin.

This tale of three hormones, for me is critical for our mental well being as a mom, as a wife and as a friend because the world needs more of us. To reiterate:  “We can’t give what we don’t have.”  While, the act of giving is substantial for others happiness however, you can’t expect others to return the favor. Therefore, the act of giving is to be regarded as a by-product of the happiness that starts from within.

Praise God for every moment we choose happiness…

Strive to be happy, loves!

Love, 

Ehma