Cutting Corners, No More

Greatness takes time… learning to wait and to make most of the moment while waiting

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. –Ecclesiastes 3:1

It took me and my husband more than ten years to get a green card. While my husband’s status as my dependent did not allow him to work yet, we lived from scrap out of my income, our only income and saved a fragment in order to at least build a cushion in case the need for emergency arouse. There were many days when we thought of moving to Canada as the process of our immigration papers seem to sluggishly progress. But after a thorough risk analysis, we found out that expediting our plans to moving to a different country would have taken us back to square one. Due to the travails we have already fought and won, we decided to stay. There were nights of endless discussions about how to maximize his abundant free time which then led him to study for a couple of professionals' exams, devour several books on personality development and made strategic financial analysis for growth on what funds we had. Now I’m happy to share, two professional examination successes and two wonderful kids later, he has been serving his purpose while enjoying his work. Had it not been for those years of trying and waiting.

Looking back, we find it so blessed to have the strength to resist the temptation of grabbing the shortest distance to success. We eventually realized it is unnecessary, unwise and unsafe to cut corners.

Allow me to share another story which has contributed to my strong disagreement to cutting corners. While I was waiting in the car to pick up my kids, several cars have already been ahead of me. After a couple of minutes, the line moved so I hit the gas to go forward. I was ready to take the position of the car ahead of me but then this lady intercepted my way and got the place instead. It made me mad and disappointed not only for being robbed of the right to the place but also because of being in the brink of hitting a vehicle. Maybe due to hurry or whatever reason, cutting corner is downright dangerous.

Reflections on learning to wait and to make most of the moment while waiting:

1.       It is unnecessary to be in a hurry. Our family loves to travel long distance by land. There is such magic in driving that draws us closer. First, it allows us to appreciate each other for the flow of creativity we bring to entertain the family as we spend time on a limited posture for hours. Second, it quenches our thirst for knowledge and satisfies our curiosity as we have the capacity to make stops on landmarks that entice us and places that captivate our hearts. Lastly, the time spent is always a time well-spent as our minds and hearts are constantly fed with delight with the things that are accessible. Traveling by air, albeit brings us faster to our destination does not give us that same level of satisfaction.

2.       It is unwise to go for the shortcut. Jeff Olson said it best in his book, The Slight Edge:

You plant, then you cultivate, and finally you harvest. Plant, cultivate, harvest. In today's world, everyone wants to go directly from plant to harvest.

3.       It is dangerous to cut corners. Going back to Jeff Olson’s, “Plant, Cultivate, Harvest” again, is it not impossible to harvest what has not sprouted? Is it not dangerous for our children to rush childhood and become the adult without cultivating their minds the value of integrity, responsibility and self-control and instilling in their hearts an utmost reverence to God? As parents, we are builders of the next generation. We have the responsibility to let our kids be kids and us parents be parents that while we have time to extract given moments to be teachable moments, let us then do so.

4.       Live in the present. Never waste the time worrying or daydreaming on the moments that has yet to come. Do things that can be done while waiting. You don’t have to wait for your emergency fund to be fully funded before you can give. Give back now. A simple smile to a hopeless spirit can be an immeasurable blessing. A listening ear to the heartbroken can be the only saving grace. A dollar to the shelter or the church can be expounded to a more meaningful work that which if every person can give at least a dollar a day will be able to feed hungry souls and comfort ailing hearts tremendously.

In between our greencard processing, Immigration and Naturalization (INS) issued a working permit which enabled my husband to work. And because he did not dilly dally while waiting for this permit for five years; he studied and took professional exams beforehand, he immediately got in the workforce. Some people thought he’s lucky, others think he’s just plain smart, but for me, I think he simply prepared well.

After being issued the working permit, our family enjoyed a life of abundance for having two paychecks. We were able to build our emergency fund, increased contributions to our retirement accounts, bought a second home and have the first home rented out, started investments for the kids’ college education, set aside money for vacations. However, behind the bounty lied that constant tugging in my heart to stay home with the kids. Apart from being financially stable, our marriage was unnoticeably destitute for nourishment. So my husband and I looked at our cash flow, budget and overall financial health to see if we can live by his income alone. After we received our greencard, I was immediately able to confidently resign from my job to stay home with the kids and be a plain housewife because we did not waste our time, money and efforts while waiting.

Live in the present because it is the only palpable moment. Tomorrow many never come.

Lot of Love,

Ehma